Part 4
The car starts pulling itself right as if reaching out to massive cliffs looming just off the freeway. I counter by pulling us left but am countered by a more determined veer. Giving in, I slow onto the shoulder to a stop. Suspicions confirmed I head to the back of the car to get the jack. No time to whine, fret, throw a tantrum or cry lest I be late for the fair I open the hatch to get to work. Before the hatch is fully opened, though, two pair of fuzzy pointy ears rise up between the junk ahead of me and the backs of the front seats. The cats, whom I almost forgot were with me, smell freedom and from their hiding places on the backseat floor where for the entire trip they have been perfect huddled passengers they indicate they’ve had enough; enough road noise and vibration, enough cramped in one position, enough time without food or water, enough disturbance in their normal cat lives.
There also just happens to be 2 trays of soft chocolate tarts and the delicate Angel Kiss meringues directly between them and me and they are about to leave mushy paw prints in dozens of triple chocolate pies not to mention destroy untold numbers of airy meringue mounds. Extending my arm with a raised hand as if my halting authority means beans to them I calmly say “It’s okaaaaaaaaaay, stay, nice kitties….” as I gently lower the back hatch and move around to the front seat. There I start crooning to them getting them to turn around and face me. “Hi kitties” I plea having no idea what to do next to keep them from wandering into the back of the car before I can get the food out of there. Just under the white cat, Humphrey, I see packets of treats I’ve brought for them. I grab one and tear it open with my teeth. I dump about half the bag onto the front seat and they take the bait. Practically leaping out of the car I run to the back, throw open the hatch and start pulling all of the trays and containers of food onto the ground. Running back to the front I see they’ve eaten more than half the pile of food so I dash back and throw the buckets, mops, brooms, boxes of kitchen stuff and garbage out. Both cats are now headed straight for the opening and just as I lower the hatch Humphrey has just about gotten out. As a matter of fact, his head is caught in the door sticking out over the back bumper. In what could have been one less of his nine lives he is spared by some maternal instinct of mine not to press the latch all the way down. His tail, still inside the car, is flapping like a flag in a hurricane and Lily the other cat looks like she’s about to jump out of her skin with nowhere to run. Pressing my hand into Humphrey’s face I simultaneously lift the hatch just enough to push him back into the car before Lily can give it a try. Back to the front seat I dash, jump into the car before they can detect another exit and climb into the now junk free back to join the cats. It could have been a reconciling moment but I’ve got a flat to fix and need that jack. I pull the cover to the tire well up toward me and have to reach over to retrieve the equipment since the lid only lifts half way. Moving the cats aside I contort myself back to the front seat and out the driver’s side door where I’m immediately anointed by a wave of water from some sadistic semi but at least it discourages the cats from even thinking of heading out this way.
Even though it isn’t raining now, there’s plenty of water standing on the highway and as each vehicle zooms by on this major thorough fare, I’m once again baptized by total immersion.
Of course the last person replacing the lugs on the wheel was using a machine so my mere mortal muscles can’t make the nuts budge. I stand on the jack, I stomp on it, I scream at it but not even a hint at movement. Finally, out of pure fury, something wells up in me for all injustices I’ve endured in my fairly long lifetime and those lug nuts start flying off the flat’s wheel. I yank off the hubcap and hope no- one stops to help for I’m kind of enjoying this angry power but wouldn’t want to subject some poor good Samaritan to this right now. Not only would it be dangerous for them but it would ruin the moment for me. Off goes the flat tire, on goes the spare, the hub cap, the lug nuts and I fall back dazed. After a couple of deep breaths I open the back hatch, tell the cats to stay put or I’ll throw them out to the wild dogs I’m just sure roam roadways looking for abandoned housecats (which, by the way, both cats definitely seem to understand for they are frozen in place looking at me each with both irises fully dilated) and I start tossing all my belongings back into the car driving Humphrey and Lily back into hiding. Lastly, the trays and containers of food are slightly more gingerly put into place as securely as the situation allows. Shoes squishing from road water I sit my wet buns down into the driver’s seat and head for my new residence.
Even though I’ve had to limp along on a dwarfed spare tire I’ve managed to make it in time for the fair. Entering the town that is now home, the past few hours shed away. Ahead of me dozens of little booths, tables, stages and very happy people make up the Fall Festival. I find a space right in the center of the action and set up a simple card table and a crude handmade sign. Without concern for the cats, who may not immerge for days, I pull out all the food and begin arranging it next to 200 surveys I printed what seems like weeks ago even though it was just this morning. Hundreds of people come to see what I’m up to and I invite them to have a bite if they’ll help me out by filling out a questionnaire related to the café that will soon be part of their community.
To my delight Elmer stops by, takes a survey, a Devil’s Tongue AND an Angel’s Kiss welcoming me to town. I promise to stop by his place later for a chat that gives me the best thing to look forward to that day. He can become the lucky recipient of the leftovers. Before long, all 200 pieces of paper have been handed out, some already filled in and returned and I sit back handing out most of the rest of the food reserving a good amount for Elmer.
Old time music fills the air as an entire family of 10 takes the stage. The females are dressed in gingham and bonnets, the males in white shirts, vests and string ties. Out of tune and just a little too eager they still provide the ambience necessary to complete the day. I still have enough adrenaline to take down the table, re-pack the goods and head over to Elmer’s so I head out as everyone else is also winding down. I’ve met more locals than I can remember all of which expressed enthusiasm for having an eating establishment in town. The surveys will tell me if the menu is on target for them. My new house awaits me after I see Elmer and the cats will need some decompression and gentle introduction to a completely new environ. This is the land of eagles, something I expect they will catch onto very quickly. I just hope they are smart enough to dodge the talons.
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